Butt-In-Chair: A No-Excuses Guide For Writers Who Struggle To Get Started Read online

  But those things will all still be there when you get back.

  Writing can be pretty intimidating at first—Writing is documenting your words, your thoughts. It’s putting down on paper things you’ve created. And people are going to read your words (unless you’re not writing for publication).

  That can be very intimidating.

  Try looking at things from a different perspective, though, and you’ll start to realize that, by procrastinating, you are giving up so much.

  You’re giving up your opportunity to put your words out there. You’re giving up your chance to tell the world your stories. You’re letting your characters slip away, without a shot at being heard.

  You’re giving up a creative outlet. You’re giving up that little voice inside that says, “I want to be a writer.” You’re letting go of something before you really attempt it.

  And with the loss of all those opportunities comes the loss of your writing dreams.

  So procrastinating does feel good, until you finally realize you’ve been walking down a dead-end road over and over again.

  Sit Down and Write!

  Make a list of things you’re giving up—What are you giving up by procrastinating? Take some time to ponder this in your journal.

  What Kind of Procrastinator Are YOU?—Find out by visiting the “What Kind of Procrastinator are You” post on the blog. Or you can go to http://www.psychwisdom.com, scroll to the bottom and click on “quizzes.” This will bring up a quiz where you can find out what type of procrastinator you are.

  Once you have an idea of which category (or categories) you fall in, take some time to write in your journal about why you think you’re the type of procrastinator you are. What about your type fits the way you avoid completing things?

  It’s not always about what you’re giving up by procrastinating. Sometimes your procrastination comes from being too extreme.

  For example, instead of writing whenever you have time, you skip writing all together because you can’t find a long block of time to dedicate to it.

  This is what I call the all-or-nothing mistake.

  Are You Making The All-Or-Nothing Mistake?

  A common complaint among writers is not having enough time in their day to sit down and write. Sure, it’s often difficult to find writing time. You’re busy. Life is crazy. You have priorities that are higher up on your list.

  But the mistake most writers make—and especially procrastinating writers—is using the all-or-nothing approach.

  What’s the all-or-nothing approach, you ask?

  Simply put, it means you do things all the way or not at all.

  So, for example, if you feel that you write best when you have an hour or more to dedicate specifically to writing, then unless you can find an hour of writing time in your day, you don’t sit down and write.

  It’s all or nothing.

  Why This Approach Is A Mistake

  So why is being an all-or-nothing writer a problem? Because it’s yet another barrier that keeps you from writing. It’s another form of self-sabotage and self-set limitations. It’s another form of procrastination.

  Because when it comes down to it, you can get writing done whether you have 10 minutes or 10 hours to spend dedicated to it.

  All it requires is you giving up your all-or-nothing approach.

  The all-or-nothing approach keeps you from writing. It keeps you from creating. It keeps you procrastinating. It keeps you from reaching your goals.

  Real-Life Example

  When it comes to exercising regularly, I’m terrible at it. I’m lazy and I find every excuse in the world not to do it (my head hurts, I’m too hungry, I’m tired, I don’t have enough time).

  But recently I learned that I was taking an all-or-nothing approach to exercise.

  Instead of hopping on the treadmill for 10 minutes whenever I had a chance, I’d tell myself unless I had a solid 30 minutes to dedicate to working out, I wasn’t going to bother.

  The all-or-nothing approach is not a good way of looking at things because it causes you not to get writing done.

  There are plenty of ways for you to find at least 10 minutes a day to write. You just have to let go of your idea that writing can only happen if you have a large block of time.

  Chances are you’ll rarely—if ever—have large blocks of time to dedicate to your writing.

  Steps to Letting Go of the All-Or-Nothing Approach

  If you’ve been using the all-or-nothing approach for awhile and are ready to let it go, here are some steps you can take:

  Take things one day at a time—Rather than trying to schedule in large blocks of writing time, spend a week writing for as long as you can whenever you can. No more all-or-nothing. No more waiting until you have a solid hour to write. If you find 10 minutes while you’re waiting for dinner to cook, write. If you have two minutes in line at the grocery store, make notes for the story you’re working on. If the kids fall asleep early one night, write.

  Break your writing into manageable pieces—Rather than trying to knock-out large sections of you novel at once, break your project into smaller pieces. Maybe you set a goal of writing one page a day. Easy enough, right?

  Build up writing time in your schedule—For one week, find a way to fit at least 10 minutes in your day to write. Then next week, add five additional minutes of daily writing time (so 15 minutes now). Then the next week, add five additional minutes of daily writing time (20 minutes now). Repeat until you’re writing for 30 to 60 minutes a day (or on most days of the week).

  Remember, any time you can find to write is better than not writing at all.

  The all-or-nothing mistake, along with putting limitations on yourself and constantly giving reasons for why you can’t write, all boil down to one thing: Excuses.

  Now many people will argue that being busy isn’t an excuse, it’s a reality, or having writer’s block isn’t an excuse, it’s a “disease.” But I’m here to set the record straight: These are all excuses.

  Reasons Procrastinators Give (and Why They’re Excuses In Disguise)

  As a procrastinating writer, you’ve used thousands of different excuses for why you can’t write. To you, these were reasons why you couldn’t write, but in the end, your “reasons” are just excuses in disguise.

  Don’t believe me?

  Here are some of the most common reasons procrastinators give (and why they’re excuses in disguise):

  Excuse #1: I’m too tired to write.

  Why It’s an Excuse: This is another way of saying, “I don’t want to write.” We all make time in our days for the things we want to do—then at the end of the day, whatever is left on our plates can be taken care of later. If you’re too tired to write, you’re not prioritizing your writing over other things.

  Excuse #2: I’m blocked/I have writer’s block.

  Why It’s an Excuse: Being blocked doesn’t keep you from writing. Choosing not to overcome the block does.

  If you’re not relaxed and confident when you’re writing, your ideas won’t flow as freely as they should. Another possibility is that you’re pushing yourself too hard and not taking a break occasionally to clear your mind. When you get stumped, it’s easy to quit and say, “I have writer’s block right now.”

  Excuse #3: I don’t have any ideas.

  Why It’s an Excuse: If you’re telling yourself this, your mind is being clouded with negativity. There are billions upon billions of ideas for things you could write about. Right now you’re just letting yourself become discouraged and afraid. Don’t be afraid to create and share your ideas with the world.

  Excuse #4: I’ll do it later.

  Why It’s an Excuse: You know you won’t really do it later. You’ll just keep telling yourself you will, but unless you’re on a deadline, later most likely won’t ever come. This is the number one procrastinator’s excuse of all time.

  Pushing your writing back all the time may be a temporary fix, but eventually it will catch up with
you.

  Excuse #5: I’m too busy to write.

  Why It’s an Excuse: You’re finding plenty of time to do non-productive things, most likely, like TV, surfing the Web, etc. Getting your writing done is all a matter of making it a priority.

  Excuse#6: It won’t take me long once I get started.

  Why It’s an Excuse: True, it might not take you long once you get started, but you’ll never get started because you don’t actually believe that. If you truly believed it would be easy and quick, you’d have already sat down to write it.

  Excuse #7: I can’t write; I don’t know what I’m doing/where to start.

  Why It’s an Excuse: You don’t have to know what you’re doing. You don’t have to know where to start. You just have to start. “I don’t know what I’m doing” is a frantic statement brought forth by worry. Calm down and get writing!

  Excuse #8: No one will publish it anyhow.

  Why It’s an Excuse: This is the equivalent of a child throwing a tantrum. “Why should I write? No one’s gonna publish it anyhow.” Instead of throwing a fit, why not attempt first?

  Excuse #9: I’m too distracted to write now.

  Why It’s an Excuse: Distractions will always exist. If you’re going to be a writer, you need to learn how to rise above the distractions and put words on paper.

  Excuse #10: There are too many writers who are better than me.

  Why It’s an Excuse: Once again, this is nothing more than a confidence issue. Believe in yourself. You are talented. You can do this. It’s mind over matter.

  Excuse #11: I can’t get my inspiration to line up with the time I have available to write.

  Why It’s an Excuse: Sounds a lot like the writer’s block excuse to me. And the truth is, the more often you write, the easier it is to line up your inspiration with your writing session. Trust me. Sit down and write.

  So as you can clearly see, your “reasons” for not writing, deep down, are just excuses.

  Sit Down and Write!

  Excuses You Use—In your journal, make a list of all the “reasons” you have for why you can’t write. Write down every reason you can think of, even if it’s not a really good one.

  Why It’s An Excuse—Now take your list and using the chart below, deconstruct each reason and see how it’s actually an excuse in disguise. [Note: There is a printable version of this chart in the appendix.]

  When it comes down to it, all excuses are rooted in one thing and one thing alone: FEAR.

  [feel the fear and sit down to write anyways]

  The Things Procrastinators Fear

  Fear, according to Dictionary.com, is: “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined.”

  Fear can be real OR imagined. When it comes to the things that procrastinating writers fear, it’s imagined.

  In fact, someone once said FEAR stands for: False Expectations Appearing Real.

  So why, if procrastinators’ fears are false, do they still hold them back?

  Because procrastinators truly believe the fear is real.

  Procrastinators fear many things, but there are four that really stand out as the main fears that feed all the rest:

  * Fear of success

  * Fear of failure

  * Fear of rejection

  * Fear of not being good enough/perfect

  Now you may have read the above and felt a little angered. You don’t procrastinate because you fear success (or failure or rejection or not being good enough)! You procrastinate because you “don’t have time to write” or because you “are so tired from working all day you just can’t write.”

  As you learned in the above section, your reasons for not writing (not having time, being too tired, etc) are just excuses in disguise. And behind those excuses is a little four-letter word: Fear.

  To better explain it, read this awesome Copyblogger post called, “The Nasty Four-Letter Word That Keeps You From Writing.”

  The good news about all this is everyone has fear inside them; and there’s something you can do about it!

  Sit Down and Write!

  What Are You Afraid Of?—What are your writing fears? Which of these four main fears most stops you from getting your writing done? Write about your fears in your journal.

  Gauging Your Fears—After reading the Copyblogger post, how do you feel? Write about how you’re feeling in your journal.

  Do You Fear Success?

  Now you know that success is one of the main things procrastinators fear. But this fear might not make sense to you. After all, why would someone be afraid of succeeding?

  Well… let’s find out.

  Why do people fear success?

  “Many people fear success because it tests their limits and makes them vulnerable to new situations,” says Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen, in the article How Fear of Success Works. “Even worse, success can easily expose weaknesses and force people to deal with their flaws.”

  Another major problem is the fact that success equals change. In fact, nine out of 10 people would rather die than change. Pretty scary.

  “It [success] can be intimidating and hard to handle,” Pawlik-Kienlen says. “With success comes challenges and responsibilities–and that can be threatening.”

  Other times, people fear success because they don’t want the recognition or honor. (This falls along the lines of people who don’t like receiving compliments. They are fearful of acknowledging they have good in them or that they look nice or that they did a great job because they often don’t feel that way about themselves.)

  This is the same with writers. Writers often fear success because they think they might not be able to sustain the success or that they don’t want the recognition or spotlight that comes with being a successful writer.

  Here are signs you fear success:

  You procrastinate–You want to write, but you’re too busy. Or too tired. Or have too much work to do. Or need to make dinner. Or will write in five minutes when your favorite TV show is over. No matter how much you want to write, you just can’t seem to sit down and do it.

  You have a negative outlook on your writing–Always talking badly about yourself regarding your writing (this sounds something like, “Why should I write? No one will ever publish it,” or “Writing is a waste of my time because there’s too much competition”). You don’t believe in yourself or your writing dreams. You don’t think you can do it.

  You talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk–You’re always talking about your writing dreams and how you want to be a writer for a living. You tell people about all the stories you want to write, all the ideas for novels you have written in your notebook. But then you never write. You do everything BUT write.

  If you see these signs in yourself, you may have a fear of success. For more information or to see other examples of what fear of success looks like, read:

  * Fear of Success: What will happen if you succeed? by Steve Pavlina

  * Handling Fear of Success, from LiveStrong.com.

  Success can be overwhelming because it causes things to change. But it can also be fun and joyful and your dreams coming true.

  Remember what FEAR stands for–False Expectations Appearing Real. Writers fear success because it’s unknown. There’s no way to plan for it; no way to predict it; no way to know how things will end up.

  That’s the beauty in it though.

  When you learn to release the grasp that fear has on you and actually sit down and get some writing done, you’ll start to realize that being successful doesn’t have to be scary. In fact, it can be pretty awesome.

  Action Steps:

  Believe in yourself and your writing. No matter what. Once again, I go back to the writing mantra. Come up with a mantra or affirmation about your writing that you can say to yourself whenever you need a confidence boost. For example, an affirmation could be, “I am a great writer,” or “I am a successful writer.”

  Oftentimes a fear of success i
s nothing more than a lack of confidence. Think about that one.

  Know that you can continue to learn anything you need to know to keep being a successful writer. Education isn’t going anywhere. There will always be colleges, online courses, writing teachers, information websites and blogs dedicated to helping you stay current in the world of writing.

  Sit Down and Write!

  Do You Fear Success?—Now that you know what a fear of success is and what it looks like when manifested (procrastination, lack of confidence), write in your journal about how you feel about it, how it affects you, etc.

  What Would Success Change?—As mentioned above, people fear success most of the time because they’re afraid of what might change if they’re successful. In your journal, write about how things in your life would change if you were to be successful and reach your writing goals. What would be different? What would be the same? How would all the change affect you?

  Do You Fear Failure?

  Now you know what fear of success looks like. And fear of success’ evil twin sister is fear of failure.

  So what exactly is a fear of failure?

  A fear of failure is often the most paralyzing of the four main things procrastinators fear. It causes people to avoid the things they want to do because they are afraid they will fail.

  A procrastinator’s fear of failure can sometimes be so strong that they may even subconsciously undermine themselves so they don’t have to attempt something (or continue attempting it).

  Oddly enough, by not attempting something (or attempting, but giving up quickly), you are essentially bringing about the thing you’ve been fearing: failure.